32 Conversation Starters To Get Your Tween or Teen Talking

As our tween or teen child grows older, it becomes harder to connect with them. Your child may be less engaged in the activities you used to do together, and more so on developing his or her own interests. 

It happens more often that you might think! I can’t deny it doesn’t hurt when your child seems distant or uninterested during your hang outs. As a parent, you want to get to know your child more, and understand what they’re thinking and feeling. Being intentional about your relationship with your tween or teen child is the first step, but what if they’re just simply not opening up to you as much as you’d like?

Below are a series of questions that I find myself asking my own kids, along with their friends. Most of these questions are pretty light, and some are a bit heavier. Use these questions to build that intentional and emotional connection with your child that will reach their heart and show that you are genuinely interested in them.

1. What is something you’ve read in a Guiness Book of World Records that shocked or amazed you?

2. What is your favorite thing to cook or bake? Why do you like it so much?

3. Would you rather drive a convertible, a truck, a car, an SUV, or something else? What color would it be, and what would be on the inside?

4. If you could have your own YouTube channel, what would it be about?

5. What are your top three states you’d like to live in when you grow up?

6. Do you want to get married? If so how old would you like to be when you get married?

7. Do you want to have kids? If so, how many? 

8. Do you like overnight camps? Why or why not?

9. Would you like to “snap your fingers” and suddenly be a 30 year old? Why or why not? 

10. If you have some savings built up, what are you saving for? 

11. If someone gave you $500 to give to a charity, which charity would you give it to?

12. Would you rather water ski or snow ski?

13. What do you remember about kindergarten?

14. What do you remember about your last day of elementary school?

15. What is good about boys? What is not so great?

16. What is good about girls? What is not so great?

17. What is your favorite activity we do as a family?

18. What is your least favorite activity we do as a family?

19. If you could have the perfect summer day, what would you be doing and who would you do it with?

20. If you could have the perfect vacation, where would you go and who would you be with?

21. Do you think you’ll be a coffee drinker when you grow up?

22. In high school would you rather work a retail job or a house service job - like babysitting, dog walking, or lawn mowing? Or is there something else entirely you’d like to do?

23. What is something weird I do that you wonder about?

24. What makes you anxious?

25. What makes you sad?

26. What makes you happy?

27. Would you rather play a board game or a card game? 

28. Do you like baking shows?

29. Is there a toy or stuffed animal you sort of miss playing with from childhood? 

30. If you could invent a new flavor of ice cream what would it be? 

31. If you could design your bedroom any way, what would that look like? (Tell them to get crazy with their imagination - would they add in a water slide, a giant piano keyboard you step on?)

32. If you could be a superstar at any Olympic sport, what would it be?

Remember to make it fun and sprinkle some creativity in there! Keep a list of these questions in your car, or even cut them up into little scraps, put them into a jar, and let them pull one out every so often. I hope this helps spark some ideas to build and maintain that emotional connection with your tween or teen, AND learn a thing or two about them along the way.

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